Salon Therapy - Gardening in Stilettos
Gardening in Stilettos
One of the highlights of my week is Saturday mornings. I simply love to get my hair wash, so off to the salon I go. The salon is often therapy for many, a moan and groan session for others, and just that woman to woman connection for some.  The topic of discussion today was friendships- loyalties and boundaries.

The Scenario:

Two guys were friends since their days of day care. Guy #1 crossed paths with an ex-girlfriend of guy #2 some years after the relationship has been dissolved. Guy #1 and ex-girlfriend begin to cross paths more frequently at events that mutual friends are hosting. At some point guy #1 begins not only hang out with the ex-girlfriend but indulge in the cookie as well. Guy #1 shares this information with another childhood friend, who also happens to be guy #2 cousin. The friend express his concerns and issues with the situation that has been revealed and battles with if he thinks he should share this information with his cousin.  He feels that betrayal has taken place, but feels confident that guy #1 is going to end the situation and that way no one else will have to know and it will not be an issue within the friendships. But as time goes on the cousin/friend realizes that guy #1 has decided not to end the situation so he must share the information with his cousin because it's neccesary. The information has also now traveled to other guys in their group of friends and has started to present some tension. All his friends begin to express how messed up they think the situation is so guy #1 then distants himself from ex-girlfriend. Fast forward to 6 months later and the situation has come to life again. The friendship of guy #1 and #2 is completely dead and after expressing their thoughts all other friends try to remain neutral but still feel very strongly that the situation is out or order.

Your thoughts:

What are the loyalties and boundaries that you feel apply to a friendship?

Do you think that the cousin/friend was right to initially not share the information with his cousin?

Do you ever think that their is a time when it is okay for someone to date an ex of one of their friends?

Is forming a potential love relationship worth jeopardizing your friendship?
1/11/2010 01:02:43


ok, so it's fundamental. how would you feel if the situation was reversed? some type of way? then don't do it. bam.

they say in life you're lucky to have even 1 true friend. they don't come a dime a dozen. so if they are truly friends then exes would be off limits. automatically.

dudes are a little different than girls, though. what was dude #1's motivation? did he just want to hit? does he really dig her? did he know that dude #2 would feel some kind of way?

i can understand why the cousin/friend held back at first. i don't think his intentions were ill.

finally, there are plenty of fish out here. so just avoid exes. that applies to your own ex and your friend's ex. go forward.


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